Are you too sexy to be my Valentine?
by Dark Angel Sephira
Summary: The group & Jessi ::see my other story forgotten stranger:: spend valentines day at the gold saucer...title will make sense later in ramble R&R Please!


A/N: Um....I dont own ANY of these characters... not even my friends lmao...so uh dont sue and um...enjoy? Also please note that I use aesterics to signify actions buuut since decided not to allow a few certain symbols in our work then this may get confusing....so I am truely sorry grovels see that didnt show as an action lol. Anyway on with the ramble

A Valentine's Day Ramble

Scene takes place at the wonder square in the Gold Saucer where the FF7 group, Chez (my friend Laura)and Jessica are doing random things

Yuffie: Yah! I beat you yet again in the fighting game Chez!

Chez: ... Yeah? Well, I'll just beat you up for real then, Hi Ya!

Yuffie and Chez begin to throw punches and Reno walks in

Reno-Yes, rock on... a cat fight! Cat fight! Cat fight!

Yuffie: Shaddap Reno! Throws Conformer at him

Reno- Ducks Ha! Missed me... Ah!

Yuffie pounces on Reno and wrestles w/ him

Chez- Oh come on guys, it's Valentines day, a day of love!

Yuffie- ... WHAT?! You just tried to beat the crap outta me earlier!

Chez- ... sorry, I forgot; but it was all about love!

Reno and Yuffie- fall over

Reno looks at Yuffie with a big grin

Reno- Hey yeah Yuffie, it is a day of love... wink, wink

Yuffie- makes face Um, no

Reno- face fault Tch! Fine, I'll go flirt elsewhere

Jessica walks in and Reno smiles charmingly at her

Reno- Hey baby, how's it...

Yuffie smacks him in the back of the head

Yuffie- Hey moron! Jessi doesn't even like you!

Jessi- mumbles Well I wouldn't go _that_ far -

Chez- Yea; besides, she has a man anyway

Jessi- ... that isn't here .

Reno- Damnit! Valentines Day sucks

Reno storms off and Jessi shrugs

Jessi- Poor Reno doesn't stand a chance with me

Chez- Ooh, rejection!

Yuffie- why doesn't he?

Jessi- cuz he's your man

Yuffie- ya right! He wishes he were

Chez- Poor Reno, he really likes you Yuffie

Jessi- yea, go make his day special

Yuffie- Nah, I don't wanna or gotta so I won't

Jessi- Oh yea? Remember who the authoress is?

Yuffie- ... you wouldn't

Jessi- :) smiles evilly

Yuffie- Nooooooo! Please don't! Arrgh, Reeeeeeeenoooo!

Jessi smiles as Yuffie runs off in Reno's direction

Jessi- Heh, heh

Chez- You're a goober

Jessi- Hey, not so fast, you have a surprise too

Jessi points to the door

Chez- Hey! Is that Rufus?

Rufus smiles at the girls as he enters

Rufus- Ladies, happy sweetest day

Jessi- Hiya Rufy!

She winks at him and nods towards Chez. He nods

Rufus- Lauren, would you care to join me on the gondola?

Chez looks at Jessi and grins, then she turns to Rufus with dreamy eyes

Chez- I wo lopiha

Rufus looks at her, then to Jessi

Rufus- Huh?

Jessi- sweatdrop She said she would love to

Rufus and Chez exit and Jessi sits on the bike for the mission game

Jessi- sigh I hate Valentines Day : (

Cloud and Tifa walk in and notice Jessi moping, Tifa pulls Cloud back outside

Cloud- Hey! I was going to snow board, now that little kid will take over and.…

Tifa- Shh! Cloud, we have more important things to worry about!

She points to Jessi

Cloud- She looks upset

Tifa- Well duh! Her boyfriend isn't here to make her Valentines Day special.

Cloud- Oh yea, geeze it must suck to not have someone you love not there with you on Valentines day; let alone every other day too.

Tifa- it does, believe me scowls at Cloud

Cloud- puts hands up Hey, I'm here now aren't I?

Aeris, Elena, Rude, Sephiroth and Vincent join them

Aeris- Hello everyone!

Cloud- Hey you guys, look points at Jessi

Vincent- What is troubling her so much?

Tifa- Her boyfriend isn't here so she is really down

Aeris- Aw that's terrible

Rude- …What should we do?

They all think for a while when Cloud snaps his fingers and grins

Cloud- I know who can make her happy…

Aeris-….…….I see where you're going with this grin

Elena- Heh, heh looks at Sephiroth, grinning

Sephiroth-… what?

Tifa-You know Seph…

Sephiroth- glares SEPHIROTH! How many times do I have to tell you people its s-e-p-h-i-r….

Tifa- totally ignoring him You **_are_** Jessica's favorite character.

Sephiroth-… your point being?

Aeris smacks him in the head with her staff

Sephiroth- glare Allright! Allright! What warped demented task do I perform brainiacs?

The group devises a plan and as Sephiroth is listening his jaw drops

Sephiroth- NO WAY! I'm **_not_** doing it!

Aeris- Oh yes, you are.

Cloud and Rude tackle Sephiroth and drag him away; the girls and Vincent follow behind snickering

Tifa- Poor Sephy, it's too bad that Jessi likes the villains; this _**is** _kinda cruel to do to him.

Elena- Cruel, no, hilarious, definitely yes!

Vincent-This should prove to be quite entertaining…

They laugh and exit

Two Hours Later

Tifa- now, is everyone ready?

Sephiroth-…this is **_not_** going to help my reputation.

Aeris-Quiet! Now, let's go cheer Jessi up!

She looks at Cloud and Vincent

Cloud- nods I'll go get her and bring her to the Wonder Square.

Vincent- I will see you there

Sephiroth-WHAT! I'M _PERFORMING_ NOW? NO! THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!

He turns to leave when Tifa steps in his path

Tifa- the place won't be full; it's only going to be the group. If you don't do it, we'll send you back to Lifestream.

She cracks her knuckles and Sephiroth raises his eyebrow slightly

Sephiroth-…you wouldn't dare try...

Aeris- Joining Tifa's side We're not joking Sephiroth, try us. Now… GET GOING!

Sephiroth glares at them mumbling about revenge and stalks off towards the square

Cloud looks around the Gold Saucer and finds Jessi watching the Chocobo races.

Jessi- Come on you stupid chicken! MOVE!

She groans loudly when the Chocobo she bid on lost

Cloud-Hey Jessi! Gives her a hug Happy Valentines Day!

Jessi- mumbles Happy my foot. I just lost all my gil. Throws money bag on floor

Cloud- Oh, I think you will be changing your opinion soon enough, come with me.

He holds out his arm and she reluctantly takes it

Jessi-Allright Cloudykins, what are you up to?

He smiles and leads her to the Wonder Square; the curtain is closed and there are few people there, one of them is Vincent

Vincent- smiles Hello Jessi, hands her a rose for you.

Jessi- blushes Aw thanks Vinney.

Cloud-Have a seat, I hear they are having an "entertaining" program today.

Vincent- Yes, with a true "Grand" Finale. He and Cloud look at each other and grin

Jessi- sits between them Cool! I wonder what it will be.

The rest of the group comes in and sits in the front row with Jessi, Cloud and Vincent

Aeris- Hey everybody, What's going on?

Chez-Something good I hope!

Jessi-There is Valentines Day program coming on soon.

Yuffie- Coolness! I hope it will be entertaining.

Reno- puts his arm around her shoulder No way, it will be romantic.

Yuffie scoots away from him, but scoots back when Jessi gives her a look

Yuffie- Oh fine!

She sits next to Reno and puts one arm around him

Reno- smiles Yea! That's what I am talking about!

Elena-Shh! It's starting!

The curtains open and a man walks out on stage

Announcer- Ladies and Gentleman! Welcome to the Valentines Day Talent Show!

Rufus-Talent Show? Why is there a talent show on Valentines Day?

Announcer-Why a talent show some of you say? Well, all the acts have the Valentine theme!

Rufus- …Ah.

Announcer- For our first act lets welcome the Cherub Children!

Marlene, the kids from the church and Priscilla walk out on stage all wearing an angel costume and signs that spell out love

Barret- Thatta girl Marlene!

Marlene smiles and they all begin to sing. When they are done, everyone stands up and cheers

Shera-She was so adorable wasn't she Cid?

Cid-(mumbles) Yeh, sure… he is fiddling with a model airplane of the Highwind

Shera- (Smacks Cid) _**wasn't** she_…

Cid- rubbing his head Yes, fantastic! Mutters Damnit…

The show goes on with people doing different acts. The announcer walks back on stage.

Announcer-Lets all give Cait Sith and President Reeve another round of applause for singing that great Valentine song!

Everyone applauds and Rufus mutters that he is the real President

Announcer- well there is only one more act everyone, give it up for the one, the only, Sephiroth!

Jessi- looks up suddenly Sephiroth! What the heck is he doing up there?

Sephiroth comes out wearing a black button up shirt and pants

Sephiroth-I'm dedicating this song to my number one fan and dear friend, Jessi.

Jessica's jaw drops as "I'm too sexy" begins to play. Sephiroth sings along

Sephiroth- I'm too sexy for my shirt rips open shirt exposing his chest too sexy for my shirt, so sexy yeah!

He throws the shirt at a very shocked Jessi and dances on the stage

Jessi- O.O………..

Aeris- whistles Yeah! Take it off! Take it **_all_** off baby!

The audience is whistling while the group has tears in their eyes from laughing

Sephiroth- (Sweatdrop) thinking: _Here goes my reputation_…

Sephy winks at Jessi as he grabs his pants and rips them off, revealing black boxers with hearts all over

Jessi- OMG!

Sephiroth shakes his butt at her and she covers her beat red face with her hands

Jessi-This is too rich, I wish I had a camera! Blushes more .

Chez-Way ahead of you! She has taped the whole event with a video camera

Aeris-Great! We can send it to AFV and win 1,000 gil!

Jessi-No way, this is for personal entertainment. Puts the tape in her bag

Song ends and the announcer comes out

Announcer-Um… the Great Sephiroth everyone!

Everyone stands up and cheers loudly while screaming for an Encore

Sephiroth- Comes out in normal outfit scowling there will **_never _**be an Encore.

Jessi- still red What about a private show? .

The girls snicker and Sephiroth smiles

Sephiroth- grins well, since you have taste and I'm your favorite, I _might_ be able to arrange…

Jessi-Um Seph, Vincent is my favorite character

Sephiroth-… Oo You mean I went up there for nothing?! Arrgh I hate you all!

He storms off and Jessi laughs

Yuffie- Ha! Now he feels he did that for nothing _and_ you don't like him.

Jessi- Heh, heh… gives Yuffie high five Yes, but he's still my guy.

Vincent-…and I am?

Jessi-You are my guy in the fanfic Vinney; I still like you, but I love the villains.

Chez- She's always been like that.

Rufus-So she likes me

Reno-and me

Hojo appears

Hojo- She should adore me then since I'm the _greatest_, **_most evil_** villain ever! HA, HA, HA!

Jessi- gags Ugh…Sephiroth, A little help!

Sephiroth walks back, drawing the Masamune and Hojo runs away screaming "I'll be back!"

Jessi-Thanks Sephy!

Sephiroth-(rolls his eyes) don't mention it, my dear ex-fan

Rufus- Combing his hair back with his hand So Jessi, you wanna go out sometime?

Reno-Hey! You're not even half the badass that I am.

Rufus-You're absolutely right, I am more of a badass than you are.

Reno- Oh yea? I'll show you! He tackles Rufus

Rufus-WTF! Fights Reno off

Chez smacks Rufus and Yuffie bonks Reno on the head

Rufus & Reno-Hey! Ow!

Jessi- sweatdrop right; now, thank you all for making my Valentines Day ten times better.

She smiles evilly  
Jessi-Only one thing can make it twenty times better.

The group looks at each other nervously; they are scared and confused

Reno-… Oh no. He walks up to Yuffie and wraps his arms around her Please… don't kill me…for this!

Reno gives Yuffie a big kiss

Yuffie- Ahh! Mmph mph! OO

Group laughs as Reno takes off running with Yuffie at his heels

Yuffie-Reno! Come back here you pathetic excuse for a man!

Reno-It wasn't my fault! It was Jessi!

Jessi raises her eyebrows and looks innocent

Jessi- Moi? Don't blame your hormones on me...:D

Reno- gawks at her and ducks Yuffie's Conformer Wh… What! Ah!

Group laughs again and waves goodbye

All- HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYBODY!

Yea…right Um, that was my first attempt at a ramble so sorry if it wasn't funny. So sue me for not being humorous! My rambles will eventually get better over time, I promise!


End file.
